Jokes Knock, knock...
Who's there?


An unusual element

I was in chemistry class today and the teacher asked me to name an element. So I stood up right in front of her and shouted "AHHHHH!"

Startled, she said " What was that!?"

"The element of surprise" I said.

Water, water

Q: H2O is the formula for water. What is the formula for ice?

 

A: H2O cubed

Chemists solve problems

Q: Why are chemists so great at solving problems?

 

A: Because they have all the solutions.

Who needs a glass?

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be.

Chemistry vs Cooking

Q. What's the difference between chemistry and cooking?

A. In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.

Quantum Mafia

Q. How do you know when you're being approached by the Quantum Mafia?

A. They make you an offer you can't understand.

Lab rat conversations

Q. What did one lab rat say to the other?

A. "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push a buzzer he brings me a snack."

Chemists have all the fun

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacists "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You  mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.

"That's it", the chemist said, "I can never remember that word."

 

Aerial love

Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. 
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

Joke

Q. Why couldn't the Skeleton go skydiving?
A. He didn't' have the guts.


What do you know about... Bats?
Batty about all things bat? Try out our quiz and test your knowledge

Are your eyes playing tricks on you?
Try these experiments to find your blind spot and understand the way your eyes work.

Sign up for the newsletter
10 Ton Limit

A man's driving down the road behind an 18-wheeler. At every red light, the truck-driver gets out of his cab, runs back and bangs on the truck door. After seeing this at several sets of lights in a row, the car driver follows him until he pulls into a parking lot. When they've both come to a stop the truck driver once again jumps out, runs to the back and starts banging on the truck door.
The motorist goes up to him and says, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?"
To which the truck-driver replies, "Sorry mate, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times."