I was in chemistry class today and the teacher asked me to name
an element. So I stood up right in front of her and shouted
Startled, she said " What was that!?"
"The element of surprise" I said.
Q: H2O is the formula for water. What is the formula
A: H2O cubed
Q: Why are chemists so great at solving problems?
A: Because they have all the solutions.
The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the
glass as half empty. The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as
it needs to be.
Q. What's the difference between chemistry and cooking?
A. In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.
Q. How do you know when you're being approached by the Quantum
A. They make you an offer you can't understand.
Q. What did one lab rat say to the other?
A. "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push
a buzzer he brings me a snack."
A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacists "Do you
have any acetylsalicylic acid?"
"You mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.
"That's it", the chemist said, "I can never remember that
Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Q. Why couldn't the Skeleton go
A. He didn't' have the guts.
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a
The cop says "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg says "No, but I know where I am."