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10 Ton Limit

A man's driving down the road behind an 18-wheeler. At every red light, the truck-driver gets out of his cab, runs back and bangs on the truck door. After seeing this at several sets of lights in a row, the car driver follows him until he pulls into a parking lot. When they've both come to a stop the truck driver once again jumps out, runs to the back and starts banging on the truck door.
The motorist goes up to him and says, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?"
To which the truck-driver replies, "Sorry mate, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times."


Well what about the mature student having trouble with weight and mass? He couldn't tell his old tons from his Newtons ...

Mafia joke of the day

Q. How do you know if you're being approached by the Quantum Mafia?
A. They make you an offer you can't understand!

Jump Lead

A jump lead walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bar tender says "Ok, but don't start anything"

Electronics Joke

Q. Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm?
A. Because he couldn't resistor...

Prism joke

Q. What happens when you cut a prism in half?
A. All the prismers escape!

Physics Joke

Q. Where does bad light end up?
A. In prism.


I watched my dog drinking the other day.

It went in as H2O and come out as K9P!!!

Einstein's lesser known theories

Einstein's Theory of Junkfood
E = MC (Donald's)

Einstein's Theory of Boybands
E = MC (Fly)

Einstein's Theory of Rappers
E = MC (Hammer)


From way down in my cranium,
This prediction I will make:
That if you eat uranium,
You'll get atomic ache.

What do you know about... Bats?
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A man goes into a shop.
Man: I'd like a packet of helicopter flavour crisps please.
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I've only got plain