It was Christmas Eve at Aintree.
Conditions were good to firm, and the 2.30 race was going well. When suddenly, the leading jockey noticed a Christmas pudding flying through the air, straight at him. He ducked out the way and managed to avoid it, give or take a few specks of custard. He regained his posture and continued the race. But 30 seconds later, his head was almost knocked off by an airborne ovenready turkey. Cursing slightly under his breath, he swerved out the way, and it sailed by. He got back on track, but moments later a volley of mince pies flew towards him.
What a race. Despite being bookies favourite the jockey came in last, and stormed off to talk to the steward about it.
"I demand you do something about this," he fumed, "I was severely hampered."
What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck down a chimney?
CLAUS-trophobia!
How many chimneys does Father Christmas go down?
Stacks!
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claus!
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